Why did I think I would have time for this? I can’t find time to workout or catch-up on laundry.
Perhaps I’m a terrible mother, but sometimes a little mix of substances can be a very good thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not endorsing drug use or anything, but I feel fantastic right now and it is anything but natural.
This afternoon, I had my usual mid-afternoon sleepiness. You know the kind. Your brain starts to feel foggy and your neck starts to give out. Normally, I would go for a soda or a cup of coffee. Today, I felt adventurous and decided to give 5 Hour Energy a go. For those who don’t already know, IT WORKS!!!! Shortly after downing the tiny bottle of yuckiness, I was awake. Very awake. So awake that I was able to stand around chopping vegetables for the mega-size pot of red sauce (as my children call it) without even thinking twice about the fact that when I’m stationary for that long, I start to ache in my back and my legs.
This is where the delightful little mixture came in. Sauce day means red wine. I don’t think anyone can be expected to cook with wine and not drink some as well. Is there anyone out there that can pour that beautiful burgundy nectar, smell it’s fruity, warm, delicious aroma and not have a sip? Or a glass? Or two? I think not. Definitely not me. So that’s just what I did. Two lovely glasses of cab later and I feel……honestly, I feel a little weird. But I’m not worrying about all of the day-to-day junk I normally do. The kids aren’t making me crazy and angry the way they normally do. Even the annoying little habits of the other people in my house seem sort of cute right now.
So, I’m a little inebriated. So what. Everybody’s happy. Nobody’s in danger. The kids even ate their dinner without a fight. How could this be bad? Somebody remind me not to do it tomorrow.
In the world of super-momming, it seems that Saturdays are not so much the welcome relief from the hectic work week that most enjoy but an even more hectic beginning to the busy weekend. This coming from a mom whose children are not yet enrolled in the myriad activities that most children seem to participate in these days.
What I failed to realize in my pre-children days is that Saturdays would become “The Day All of the Children are Here!” <cue scary music>
Don’t get me wrong, I love the fun-filled family weekends and things typically go smoothly. But I am not a morning person. I repeat, I am not a morning person. Saturday mornings are like a rude awakening. Literally. There are multiple children, all awake at about the same time, and all when I don’t want to be. Weekdays we have staggered wake up calls. Not weekends. Weekends are ready, set, go with no pauses in between. Sometimes it takes all my power to not growl at my children when their chattering starts pre-coffee. Sometimes I do growl. Is it too much to ask to have just a little peace and semi-quiet before we jump on the weekend roller coaster? Nevermind. I know the answer.
There are times when opportunity presents itself in what seems a benign way at first but on closer examination, you see the places where you will be drawn deeper into the tangle. And you do it anyway.
Being given the opportunity to go to a free training seminar seems like a no brainer. The seminar covers topics in special education law, and I have a child in special education. So, of course I’ll go. I’ll even thank the person that asked me to attend. It is nice to be thought of, after all.
Here’s the problem. At the bottom of the flyer/registration form is this nugget:
“Each participant who successfully completes the Education Rights training session will be qualified to serve as an Educational Surrogate Parent…”
A little light googling reveals this to be a volunteer position. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have a VERY hard time saying no to requests for time spent on a good cause. You ask me for money and I can say no all day long. You ask me to give up hours of time and energy, you’re gonna get it almost without fail. Obviously, the person that called me on my cell and whose picture showed up when he did, knows me.
So. Now what? Do I skip the free training that could potentially help me better advocate for my own child to avoid potentially being sucked into more commitments? Would I be a super-mom in training if the answer was yes?
Form, pen, go!
I have an illness. The symptoms are pervasive though not easily identifiable. There is some part of my brain that malfunctions. I think that I have endless time in which to accomplish my to-do list. I also believe that I have boundless energy. Sometimes, I feel as though I have six arms. The worst, though, is that I think my children will care for themselves and let me work on whatever my project of the day is. None of these things are even remotely true, obviously. I call it super-mom disease.
What is it about modern motherhood that makes us feel that we have to do it all? I have three children, a husband, and a house. I am a part time college student and I volunteer at my son’s school with some frequency. I try to make the bulk of our food from scratch. I do what I like to call “project cooking”, large batch cooking for freezing, fairly often. I bake, although not as often as in the past. Why can’t I figure out when enough is actually too much?
I want to go on a date with my husband. I want to spend more fun time with my kids. I want to spend more time with my friends. I want to read great novels. I want to read trashy novels. I want to work on (highly experimental and slighty ludicrous) art projects. I want to take a nap……
But none of these things happen. They just can’t happen because I have all these domestic and volunteer responsibilities. And I absolutely must get As in all of my classes. Why do women lose themselves in favor of being the person they think their families need them to be? Come to think of it, I have laundry to do.
I am not the most tech savvy mom in the world. It has taken me just over 7 years of motherhood to realize that what I have to say is worthwhile. Others may actually want to read it. And, there is a way to make that happen! Also, this seems like a good way to lay down some of the nuggets that may eventually become that book I’ve been tossing around.
It all started when 1 of my facebook friends started posting links to her tumblr posts. What is this tumblr thing? Looks like it is whatever you make it. Enjoy.